


Two Months A Little Too Late

by Jascel



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Alcohol, Angst, F/M, M/M, Partying, Warm Bodies Reference
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-31
Updated: 2017-12-31
Packaged: 2019-02-25 22:03:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 841
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13222137
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jascel/pseuds/Jascel
Summary: “You either say how you feel and fuck it up or you say nothing and let it fuck you up instead.”– UnknownThe last time he had attended one of Demix’ infamous parties, he had made a complete fool of himself by drunkenly attempting to kiss his then best friend, Axel.





	Two Months A Little Too Late

**_‘Shit!_ **

**_Nothing makes sense, so I won’t think about it_ **

**_I’ll go with the ignorance-'_**

Roxas closed his eyes, reaching up a shaking hand to tag at his dirty blonde locks in effort to ground himself in the heated chaos that was Demyx’s living room. Bodies glistening with sweat were pressed up against each other, grinding and swaying to the heady rhythm of music that was blasting from the host’s stereo.

It’d been two months since Roxas had even dared to step into Demyx’s house.The last time he’d attended one of the older boy’s infamous parties, he’d made a fool of himself by drunkenly attempting to kiss his then best friend, Axel. He’d pushed Roxas way, telling him that Roxas didn’t really want it - that Roxas was making a mistake and would regret kissing him. The two hadn’t seen or spoken to each other since that disastrous night and now even just thinking about Axel sent cold shivers of panic up Roxas' spine.

“Hey, Roxas!” someone called from across the crowded room, interrupting his churning thoughts. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” Roxas took a deep breath to calm himself before plastering on what he hoped was a convincing enough smile and turned to face the person who had just shouted his name. “I-I’m fine, Hayner.”

Hayner nodded, searching glassy blue eyes. “You sure, blondie? ‘Cause if you’re not feeling well we can blow the festivities and just watch bad cartoons at our place if you want…”

“What?” Roxas laughed nervously, “And let you skip out on spending time with Seifer? No way, dude. Besides, I don’t think you are in any condition to drive me anywhere, let alone yourself.”

He shot a lazy grin back at Roxas. “Ah, you’re probably right…” Hayner paused, taking a sip of what strongly smelled like tequila out of the red plastic cup he had in his hand. “Hey, have you seen Axel around?”

Roxas immediately stopped fidgeting with the hem of his grey sweater and looked up at him with wide, alarmed eyes. “He’s here?”

Before the other boy could reply, Roxas had pushed passed him, effectively knocking Hayner’s drink down the front of his shirt and leaving him wondering what the hell was going on with his friend.

* * *

Roxas was a mess.

He had barely made it pass the door before he fell to his knees in Demyx’s back garden. He clutched his arms tightly around his waist and desperately tried to gulp down calming breaths.

Thank fuck no one else was around to witness his breakdown.

“Of course he’s here, you fucking idiot!” he growled out into the night air. “Just because you haven’t been speaking to each other, it doesn’t mean he’d stop hanging out with your other friends.”

Two months ago, Roxas had stumbled home at nearly five in the morning reeking of alcohol and salty tears marring his face. His father had demanded to know where the fuck he’d been and threatened bodily harm when Roxas didn’t answer. His mother had shoved a bucket into his open arms and told him not to throw up on the carpet.

Too upset to process who he was speaking to, he’d blurted out that he was gay and had possibly fucked things up with Axel. Needless to say, that hadn’t gone down very well with his parents. By the end of that week, Roxas couldn’t take the ridicule and verbal abuse anymore. Coupled with the constant fighting over the fact that he was ‘an abomination in the eyes of the Lord’, he had begged Hayner if he could camp with him. He was now living with Hayner until the summer ended and he could start his first semester upstate at Hollow Bastion College. Roxas was desperate enough to want to escape the shitting memories of Twilight Town and make a name for himself where no one knew who he was.

Roxas sighed. He knew deep down inside, after everything that had happened, that he was pining for Axel and it was pathetic. In the time that they’d spent apart Axel had moved on. Roxas couldn’t blame him as much as he wanted to. Axel was dating someone else – a girl named Naminé who was exceptionally pretty and seemed to give Axel everything he needed.

“So much for dreaming," Roxas muttered under his breath, furiously pulling out clumps of grass from the earth beneath him.

You can’t just do whatever you want. All he’ll ever be is a clumsy, pale, miserable little shit who didn’t have the guts to tell Axel how he really felt. How he’d been lying to himself about not being gay and just couldn’t take it anymore.

What did Roxas think was going to happen?

That Axel would actually want to be with him?

After everything?

It was hopeless.

This is what he got for finally wanting more. Roxas should have just been happy with what they had. Things won’t change. He needed to accept that.

It’s easier not to feel…

Because then he wouldn’t have to feel like _this._

**Author's Note:**

> I was in a weird place when I wrote this.
> 
> Comments and kudos are appreciated!


End file.
